First Thoughts on Moving Across the State
Recently I've had the urge to cry whenever I talk about important things with my Mom and Dad. I’ve always been a “crier,” not the annoying kind who tears up spontaneously, but the nostalgic kind who over-thinks things and daydreams too often. Though I’ve mastered the art of holding my emotions back, the urges come more frequently since my move across Washington.
Trading high school surroundings for university life has prompted me to reflect over the security of familiar things: familiar places, familiar people, familiar streets and trees and daily routines.
Had I chosen to attend a university on the coast I may have missed this, “identity crisis,” as I’ve left my home and wonder now if I'll go back or stay here or if I should travel elsewhere. For now, ridiculously expensive tuitions and enormous student populations have steered me eastward.
I’ve never quite known what to do with myself in the long run and this new chapter brings me back to the begging question of career and purpose: what was I put here to do? How can I possibly make a mark when there are thousands who are more talented and equipped than I am? This change of scenery has renewed my zeal for Seattle culture and it’s hard not to think everyone here is clueless. I want to have an open mind but compared to the vivacious culture of the west side, Spokane seems to fall leagues short. For this, my questions may have been answered, as leaving opened my eyes to the extent I adore sharing with those around me the things I’ve stumbled upon throughout cities I’ve visited.
If I could choose to do only one thing for the rest of my life it would be exploring the world of art, theater, music, fashion and food and sharing my discoveries with the world. I’d inevitably start with a cluster of stories that bore me and suck my passion dry in order to prove my worth, while the chance lingers the opportunity to do what I love won't come. It must be the thought that all I’ve worked for could amount to nothing that hinders me from pursuing the career I believe is a truly inspiring, while I recognize achieving something seemingly untouchable only happens if one tries.
I suppose until I decide which path to steer towards next, all I can hope for is to keep Seattle close to my heart and maybe rub a little of the west coast culture on these east side kids, while hopefully finding and a bit of direction and drive.
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